Watch This Space

I recently decided that the solution to my inability to grasp the concept of time was to buy a watch. You see, I'm trying to nurture my budding inner-adult and what looks more grown-up than someone checking their watch? I will accept the answers, “nothing” and “someone checking their watch after clicking shut a briefcase full of statistics and non-biased newspapers”. Plus, this opened up an entire new realm of gadgetry to me.

The first “watch-style of awesomeness” I came across was a developing range: the phone watch. I liked this because I think people would look at me wearing it and say, “Oh! That girl must be a spy!” And I would be like, “Nope. Just a regular girl with a sweet watch.” These watches are balanced in that they are fairly affordable (as far as watches and phones go) averaging around £70-£100 each, but they also look pretty ridiculous. They're still at the chunky stage at the moment, so rather than thinking I were a spy, people are more likely to think that I'm under house arrest.

And you thought it was cool when James Bond's watch received a tiny fax...

I then checked out the infamous Swatch range. I wasn't completely aware of how vast the Swatch empire was until I found that they made a Fifth Element watch. This then led me to walk around the house for the next 15 minutes saying “Leeloo, multipass” and “chick-an”. Curious to see how far Swatch had gone to create the perfect watch for every person, I did a search for “egg watch” as my one major vice in life is the soft-boiled egg (and being able to dip buttered soldiers into its gooey, delicious, yellow goodness...). Blow me, if they didn't cater for the egg-lovers as well! (See below.) The downside? Many of these watches are now collectors items and cost about £100 on eBay. A lot of money for something which can't make phone calls.

It was when I found that during the late 80s and early 90s that a series of LCD game watches (largely commissioned by Nintendo) were released that I decided that my new hobby was going to be collecting these beautiful remnants of a childhood I missed out on.

I started by buying a Nintendo Tetris watch for about £22 on eBay – which was tear-jerkingly left under a leaky plant pot in the garden by the Mailman while we were away, so that by the time we got back and retrieved it the battery had dissolved from the moisture and ruined the rest of it. I am in the midst of claiming compensation for the second time after I was sent a set of 6 stamps and an apologetic letter: “My investigations into your enquiry have included checking all available service information and I cannot identify any reason why this problem occurred.” Uh – because your jackass of a Mailman left it under a leaky plant pot in the BACK YARD (who even gave him permission to go into our back yard?!) instead of taking it back to the Post Office for us to pick up.

R.I.P. Tetris Watch. I barely knew thee.

I then managed to get a Nintendo Starfox watch for about £10 including postage (a good price considering the average cost of the Nintendo watches is anything from £25-£50). The gameplay is difficult at best, but it looks damn awesome on my wrist, so I'm not complaining.

What time is it? Starfox time!

Unfortunately, I was forced to cut my collection short, as I started to realise that these aren't the best financial times to start investing in... well... time. That was until I decided to make ONE more purchase (I managed to justify it to myself by saying it was compensation for finding out my first watch was a write-off). After browsing http://www.rarewatches.net/ I came across a Transforming Robo Watch. These were again, produced in the late 80s early 90s and were cheap novelty items made in China. That said, the one on this site was going for £75. Now, I'm not stupid. No matter how amazingly fantastic I think something is, I know that chances are the same thing is cheaper elsewhere, and thanks to my old pal eBay, I managed to come across the same watch in its original packaging for £25. A large amount considering its quality, but I figure I'll just make sure I don't spend so much on booze next time I go out and my selfish side and my sensible side can call it quits.

I'm so wearing this baby to the new Transformers film.

Domo arigato Mr Roboto! - I set RoboWatch against my boyfriend's Casio. This could probably qualify for an entry into the Ultimate Character Fights.

So now I have 2 working watches. When I have more money, I'm going to try to obtain the elusive Super Mario World (also known as Mario Bros 4) watch. It looks freaking exciting. Until then, I can dwell on the fact that:
a) I now have more than what is necessary in terms of watchage, considering only one is really needed.
b) I have spent a grand total of £57 on the above watchage, though I should discount 6 stamps from that total (thanks for taking the piss Royal Mail).
c) I originally set out to buy a watch in an effort to appear more mature and be more reliable. Instead, I now have 2 watches which scream out “I'M STILL COOL, HONEST!” and probably cause more procrastination than I ever dealt with prior to owning a watch.