Every couple of years I read an article about how advances in technology mean we have achieved the VR dream, but I'm yet to see proof. All I've managed to find are a bunch of products and “experiences” which claim to be Virtual Reality. They're not. Here are some examples of things I refuse to count as Virtual Reality:
ANY Virtual Reality games from the 90s.
These are basically no different from taking a pair of toilet rolls, sticking them together and wrapping cellophane over the ends. It requires the same level of imagination.“See the world through the eyes of Bluey The Blue Robot on Planet Blue! This game is SO realistic, it's as if you were actually on Planet Blue where everything is – blue!” That said, my toilet roll idea would have better graphics and cause less seizures.
This guy from A-Ha doesn't seem to mind the back problems which will no doubt occur from his blatant disrespect for the stand. Take on THAT!Games at arcades and fairs which include the use of a headset.
One of the best jobs I ever had was working at a video games arcade. I got it because I offered to help with a new Virtual Reality game from America they had just bought. To be honest, it was a little bit like buying magic beans. A lot of money went into creating the “theatre”, in which a paying crowd would sit and be attached to headsets and given a joystick which plugged into the seating. Except in this case, the beans never turned into a beanstalk and Jack and his Mum starve to death because he stupidly swapped a perfectly good cow for a video game which didn't deliver.
Before I explain how I fitted into this wonderous video game, I'll roughly explain how the game worked “officially”:
The game was set in a haunted fairground where you would have to compete against everyone else in various tasks. These would sometimes involve shooting ghosts on a roller coaster, or creepy clowns on a ghost train. After each task the game's Interactive Host would appear on the screen and show everyone's scores. At the end of the game the person with the highest score would get to fight the main bad guy in a boxing ring. The winner and the highest scoring half of players would be told they managed to escape the haunted fairground. Those who didn't score so well were TRAPPED forevermore in this virtual hell.
So how was this game Virtual Reality? Well, the headsets created a vague 3D effect and had fairly decent sound. They also each had a microphone attached, so the players could talk to each other (which is hardly impressive, considering they were all sitting within talking distance to one another). The joysticks were highly sensitive, so they could tell where the players moved them and how often they were shooting. The flooring beneath the chairs had sensors, so it could tell if anyone was running or stomping. Last, but not least, the microphone reacted to sound levels. To score points in the game you were encouraged to stomp your feet on the ground when running and yell out “BANG, BANG, BANG!” when you were shooting. Well, this is what we told the customers anyway.
How the game worked “unofficially”:
Firstly, the joysticks didn't work. I don't think they were ever supposed to. The techies revealed to me that there was no connection between the joystick plugs and the game, so basically they were useless. There were no sensors either. Oh and what the players saw in their headsets was a video. So if they shot a ghost or whatever, it was the same every time and for every one. Fortunately, at $10 a go, no one played the game enough to realise this. It was all an elaborate lie!
This is where I came in. Remember when I said that thing about the “Interactive Host”? You can't tell, but I'm tapping my nose in that knowing way that people do on the telly.
As you can imagine, a theatre which can seat up to 20 or so players was fairly large by video game arcade standards. Underneath the seating banks was a tiny room where the computer which ran it all was situated. My job was to sit in this room and watch some monitors which were hooked up to cameras above the group, enabling me to see what all the players were doing in their seats. I also had a microphone which would allow me to give the group their instructions, such as “Quick! There's a ghost! Shoot it! BANG BANG BANG BANG!” and “Oh no! We're being chased by a clown, quick! Run! Stamp your feet!” On the monitors I would see who was moving around the most and allocate them points using a keyboard. Yep. It was all rigged. If I was feeling particularly mean I would take points away from people I didn't like the look of and shower points on those I did. I kind of felt like God. But angry God from the Old Testament. Not the nice one we've all come to know and love in the Gospels. I wonder if God sits in a tiny room full of monitors...
...I imagine he's like that KFC guy in The Matrix.But wait! I haven't even mentioned the best bit! My job as the Interactive Host was to sit in front of a white screen (like a blue or green screen, but... white) and react to whatever was in the video. So, for instance, at the beginning of the game I would appear in their headsets and tell them about how we were all trapped in this haunted fairground and how we all had to get away. Then the game's main bad guy would appear and “electrocute me” so I would have to shake and pretend I was being electrocuted. It was pretty cool. The only downside of the white screen was that if I was looking especially pale on a certain day I would sometimes turn out looking like Mulligrubs. It also meant I had to make sure I avoided wearing white t-shirts or dresses. I learnt my lesson on one occasion when a mixture of deducting points unfairly and a poor choice in clothing led to an angry boy yelling out, “You suck floating head!” Given that the seating banks were not closed off to the rest of the arcade, this quote would have certainly confused some of the other arcade patrons.
So this is why any arcade which tells you it has a Virtual Reality game is lying. It probably has something to do with a staff member being crammed into a tiny room somewhere, watching you on various monitors and subtracting points because they don't like your attitude.
Online Virtual Realities such as WoW and Second Life.
While the graphics of these games are getting better and better and their ability to suck in their users is impressive, they're yet to make that all-important step into a believable reality. I don't mean in a sense that the content needs to be believable, but that for these games to compete with the concepts introduced to us by the “Virtual Reality” games presented in films and TV, we would really need to genuinely feel we are in those worlds. Until then, these will always just be extravagant RPGs.
Video glasses.
These things have popped up recently over the years. They give the effect of a large screen TV, except conveniently directly in front of your face. Some of them do offer 3D effects and can be used in conjunction with game play, allowing you to turn your head in the game as you do in real life, though given that no one I know owns one, I'm yet to be convinced they're any good. Until I'm told otherwise I'm refusing to accept them as Virtual Reality, despite what eBay searches tell me.
The thing is, we are genuinely close to creating something worthy of the Virtual Reality name. You only have to look at the most recently designed flight simulators to know that. But we're also close to creating VR for the masses. Consider some of the Virtual Reality attempts above. All you really need is for the video glasses to be compatible with vast reality role playing games, chuck in some of that Wii motion detecting mojo and you've got the makings of a sufficient VR entertainment system. Of course eventually I'm sure they'll either create some suit which simulates the feeling of picking things up, etc (I remember a few years ago there was a prototype for a shirt which could simulate the feeling of being hugged), or they'll put some implant into your brain to trick you into feeling certain things, but until that happens, we're only an adaptable headset away from a fairly decent Virtual Reality.
It can also be said that Virtual Reality is a matter of perspective. Who am I to say that Virtual Boy never achieved the dream? Surely there was someone out there completely overwhelmed by its hi-tech specs? There must have been. 770,000 were sold. And while I knew that the video game I helped run was all based on lies, the amazing thing was the game got great feedback. People enjoyed playing it and loved having a new experience. They believed it was this amazingly advanced game which reacted to their movements and ability to yell “BANG!” while waving around a joystick which wasn't connected to anything. It didn't matter that it was fake to me, because it was a reality to them. Perhaps that's what Virtual Reality is all about. That said, if it is, I'm a bit disappointed. I'm still holding out for the day we can surf the net like they do in Futurama.
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