Smoke and Mirrors

Listen up people! Word on the street is that now you can look cool and NOT die.

No, it's not the latest in personal alarm sunglasses, or a warning to other prescription drug-addicted pop stars. It's the electronic cigarette. Finally, a chance for me to know what it's like to smoke, without the coughing or cancer.

Before I continue, it's probably worth mentioning that most places which sell electronic cigarettes strongly warn that their products are only to be used as an aid to quit smoking and a doctor should be advised first. Therefore, I do not condone my awesomely cool decision to take up “fake smoking” (“foking”).

Smoke rings = cool
Admitting to admiring JRR Tolkien = not cool
Therefore: outcome is nuetral. Yay!

The main reason I wanted to take up foking was largely a geeky one. I've always wanted be able to blow smoke rings, thanks to JRR Tolkien. The problem being that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and am the ultimate proof that those anti-smoking campaigns do work. Mainly because I'm incredibly squeamish and a bit of a hypochondriac.

So what is an electronic cigarette? Well, to answer my own (and therefore pointless) question, it is a gizmo which looks like a cigarette, with the white part being a rechargeable battery and the brown part housing a tiny atomiser and cartridge. All you do is suck on it, as you would a normal smoke, and the atomiser creates a mist (similar to that of a fog machine) by mixing the air with the ingredients in the cartridge. The end also contains a small LED, so it lights up as you inhale, giving you the full smoking experience, minus the burns. You can get cartridges in various nicotine strengths (I managed to get some in zero) and flavours (I got menthol because that's how I roll. Plus it takes the effort out of breath mints). Their mist evaporates without any lingering smells and they can be smoked indoors without affecting those around – though it is advised you buy one with a blue LED on the end so it's obvious it's not real and therefore less likely to end in an argument with the not-so-technology-savvy publican.

I've seen a couple of the them advertised in stalls at local shopping centres, but they are more easily found online and start at about £15 for a trial pack. They are pretty heavy, but are getting lighter and smaller as the technology evolves. You can also get electronic pipes, which give you more dapper-points. I would recommend those for gentlemen, professors and lesbians. Non-stereotypes can use them as well, I believe.

And the verdict? Well, we bought one for my boyfriend's Mum which she uses occasionally, but it hasn't stopped her penchant for the real thing. I enjoy mine as a novelty item if I'm at a BBQ, but am too afraid to use it more than that as I've already been teased enough by friends who say I “don't know how to hold it.” This said, it has come in handy when my boyfriend (an ex-smoker-only-when-drunk) has had a few and in the end, isn't ensuring that our loved ones stop cutting 13 minutes off their lives what it's really all about? Yes. Now away with you! I've got some looking cool in front of the mirror to do.